Pack your bags. . . . and let's go!
The other week, Sawyer (my son who is seven plus) wanted to take his bionicle pieces ( jointed, buildable action figure/creatures, made by Lego) and make them into one called, "Reedok" (created/invented by a kid on-line). Sawyer had found a small, somewhat blurry picture of Reedok and had printed it out and was constructing it from this picture.
He was in his bedroom working away with bionicle pieces all over his bed and on the floor, when I heard him making a racket. He had lost one of the claws he needed - he'd just had it and now it was gone. When I arrived , he'd already done a lot of searching and was desperate. He tried to hold it together, but his distress was palpable . I did the best I could - even moved the bed, but I couldn't find it. I suggested he use a different pair of claws, but they were not the right color and he rejected them vehemently. His screaming, strained neck, clenched fists and red face turned upward towards the unfair Gods, only increased. Soon, I left, with the weak hope that he would begin to cope and work through it himself.
Some time went by, and it became much quieter in his room. When he came into my room, he came to show me Reedok - complete with two claws and all! I admired his work very much and later, in his room, he told me what he had done.
He explained, in a quiet, sorrowful voice (the voice, really, of a surgeon who had been forced to perform an unexpected amputation) how he had taken a matching claw from Brutaka in order to build Reedok.
"Who is this so-called Brutaka?" you ask. Brutaka is a very large Bionicle with whom Sawyer has bonded (see picture below). He carries him around with tenderness and has, on occasion, called him his "best friend". Brutaka, although considered a "bad guy" in the world of lego bionicles, is ADORED by Sawyer.
Just then, I looked up and saw Brutaka standing on top of the bureau. Indeed, where once was a a full, powerful claw now was only a "v" shaped space in its stead. Sawyer looked at me. The moment was heavy; I could still tell that it was tearing him up that he'd had to make that sacrifice in order to build Reedok. But he'd done it. I held him on my lap and he leaned into me (seemingly exhausted from the mental and emotional effort of the evening) and told him how I thought he was courageous for having done it.

So.
Let me pack my bag and move FORWARD even if it means (and it always does) making some sacrifices . Even if it feels as painful as giving up something, the having of which, once gave me great comfort. If I want to move on, create anew, and broaden my horizons, those attachments must be, at the very least, revised.
Use all the pieces, use what we've got. But be as brave as Sawyer and use them to create something NEW and move ourselves forward.
I continue my shopping and have managed to buy a few more things and visited the mall a couple times last week. I will keep you posted on more of my steps (in all areas of being Out). Feel free to keep me posted, too.
All is Well,
Lots of love,
Jen
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