Decide Ahead of Time (written 1/15/07)

This week I've been thinking about kleenex, lozenges, and the raw, chapped skin under my nose. Yes, my whole body (primarily my head) has been thinking about a COLD. I've also been thinking about introducing the new, leaps of faith, and creating/loving what I want. The cold is clearing; hopefully my thinking is too. Let's give this a whirl.

This week, Bill told people at the restaurant where he works that he will be leaving his job come January 27th. He has been working with a woman who owns her own company, doing some technical/copy writing. She has not promised him a job, but she has let him know that it is a distinct possibility; he is becoming her support staff with her intention to create a team, hiring two other people (besides Bill) to flesh it out. Bill has worked at this restaurant for over sixteen years. He has worked as a waiter for twenty. During this time, his plan was to keep writing his books and when one of them got published and made lots of money, he would leave the restaurant. The restaurant became a kind of jail he was waiting to get out of. In fact, when he announced to his coworkers that he was leaving, every single one of them said, "Oh, you're getting out." Apparently, seeing themselves as somewhat compromised, stuck, and trapped is part of the experience there.

I have listened to Bill fight for his limitations (in this area) for many years, whenever we discussed the topic of him leaving the restaurant (without it coming from the success of one of his books). I have watched him in agony over the painful thoughts he's believed about himself and lack of opportunity, and I've also gotten to watch (over the last 1-2 years) him shift out of this perspective and open himself up to something NEW, new ways of seeing himself and the situation. What he once thought was immovable, "real" and the the "truth", he is now trading in for other ideas of what can be "real" and the "truth". And, regardless of what happens, exactly, with this new work, he is stepping outside of his old paradigm and taking the leap of faith to a new paradigm.

Last week, I wrote about the essay I'm working on for a children's book writers/illustrators publication about writer's block and getting stuck. This week, in working on it again, I realized that I've always thought that if I just faced my fears, I would get to experience transformation and freedom. But facing fear does not actually equal transformation nor freedom. You can spend your life facing fear after fear, remain fearful, and simply generate more things to feel afraid of, white knuckling your way through without real change.
Facing fear is part of the equation - the part where we stand before the door and open it. The second part, requires us to EMBRACE THE NEW THOUGHT - the thought that makes us feel better, more hopeful, and encouraged than the thought we were thinking when we were so afraid. And when we invest in that thought, we step through the door. That's when true change comes. Because when we choose to believe something new about ourselves and our potential and opportunity, we are embracing the fact that we are creating our lives. We put ourselves back at the wheel, empowered. Then, facing our fear becomes an opportunity not just to experience a little movement in the moment (minus the limitation of that current fear) but to experience a more freeing way of seeing our lives.

A while back, I was listening to a cd and the man told a story about an elderly woman. She was very old and her husband of many years (something amazing like 70 years together) had just recently died. She was legally blind and had other medical problems and so had to leave their beloved home of many years to go into an assisted living apartment. The person who was helping her move told her of the apartment in plain, descriptive terms to give her a sense of what she was going to. She said, "Oh, I just love it!" and the person said, "But you haven't seen it and we haven't arranged the furniture yet." And the woman said, "It doesn't matter. I've arranged it in my mind. I've decided ahead of time to love it!"

When we make a commitment to that new thought, it's like that woman embracing her new apartment. It is an act of love of life to decide "ahead of time" to embrace and appreciate what is yours- whatever it is in the moment and whatever is coming to you. And in deciding ahead of time both what you want and what you love, you are activating your ability to work with whatever is before you and decide HOW you want to feel about it; you are taking a leap of faith and are finally "getting out" from whatever jail you've been in. Just like Bill is doing and just like all of us can.

Thanks for listening everyone. I appreciate it.
Lots of love.
All is Well,
Jen