Hello great souls. It is time to reflect upon BALANCING, Finding the Center-point and Listening to your Inner Voice. My Inner Voice says: Let Us Begin!
When we ride a bike, there's a kind of center-point that we search for, that lets us know we're in a place where we can now balance and go forward. Of course, there is no way to go forward smoothly without balancing first and I think this is true in life as well. On the bicycle, we can FEEL the gap between where we need to be and where we are, and we keep adjusting our bodies and checking in, until we find "it". I think that in order to go forward in the ways we're most wanting we must be in balance emotionally, we must FEEL our way back to the center point.
I've seen stories in which a person finds him/herself a dire situation: about to be raped/attacked, in an out-of-control car, accidentally buried alive - whatever it is, in which they suddenly hear an Inner Voice speak the guidance they need. From the responses on the shows I've watched, it seems like many people are willing to accept the idea of a person hearing a voice under these kinds of circumstances. I believe that, if that voice is there during those times, we have access to it all the time. It may be quieter, or it may just come as impulse, but it is there. The question is how much do we use it, how much do w e value it, and how much do we believe in it.
Yesterday, I was watching the Illusionist Chris Angel on television. He has a show called: "Mind Freak" in which he does tricks based on magician-type illusion and some based at least partly on his intuitive skills. In this show, he had a man standing behind one of three screens while he was drove at full speed through one of them without being told (so they said) which one the man had chosen to stand behind. He discussed his Inner Voice and how he's cultivated it and come to trust it. The first round, he drove directly through successfully. Then, he decided to do it again, this time with there being a fifty-fifty chance he might hit the man. But this time, as he drove, he slowed before the middle screen and asked the man if he was there. He was. Chris Angel said the problem was that the man had been so anxious and nervous that the signal he was sending was uncertain until right before he had approached on his motorcycle; so he was getting the clear information too late to be able to go at full speed. At any rate, they did it once more successfully.
I think that in life, we are receiving information all the time about what's safe and what's not, the best direction, the right person, new opportunity, but I think our own focus on our fear , anxiety , and lack of trust in ourselves blocks the signal, so to speak, until or unless it really becomes dire and is basically upon us. When we consciously search for the center-point though, for that feeling place from which it feels easier to balance, we become tuned in, and find it infinitely easier and safer to go forward.
Years ago, when Max wasn't yet two, I got pregnant. It was earlier than we'd planned, but we very much wanted a second child and were excited. At the end of my first trimester, I was spotting and had an ultrasound and a week or two after, I miscarried. The ultrasound had shown no baby. There was a placenta and a sac, but no one home; the beginnings of this person had just not worked out and had already been reabsorbed by my body. At the time, I was calm at first, and then more distressed as I waited for my body to get the message and miscarry what was left of the pregnancy. Once I miscarried, I remained in a mental state of confusion and distress for several months. I let myself focus on fear and lack of TRUST, and built upon the idea that perhaps I wouldn't ever be able to have another child. This fear grew in me and took me down other roads of thought that were very painful. My body became an obsession, as every pang, every twang, any clue of "abnormality" became a grave cause for concern and anxiety.
Finally, I knew I had to pull myself in and reach for something better. I tuned in, and felt around for that center-point, and I heard my inner voice. And it had much to say. I realized, like other times in my life, I was mourning the Loss of something I never really had in the first place. It was just an idea - an idea that never came to fruition. My inner guidance said to HAVE WIHAT I HAVE and to let go of the sorrow. For it was all just an Idea of something I wanted. Nothing is truly lost when you trust in your ability to create more. I was focusing my energies completely in fear, building upon the idea that I couldn't create more. And , of course, I was hurting over this.
I started having what I did have, starting with my little (at the time) boy Max and our family and I let myself have my life and all the good in it without regret. I made peace with where I was. And life started to move me again.
Hearing your Inner Voice is a choice, believing in it is a choice, validating it is a choice, honoring what you know to be true is a choice. So, we have many choices before us. Focusing on my fear kept me disconnected from my own knowing.
Yesterday, I was at the park with Sawyer and Max and they were having a climbing contest. It was a tie , so Max came up with a challenging event for the tie breaker. It was to make it across this particular climbing apparatus (involving ropes in a row) without feet ever hitting the ground. Sawyer looked at it and said in a low tone, "I've never done that before." I encouraged him to try any way. HIs first attempt, he fell and sobbed, not from pain, but at the belief that he'd LOST. He regrouped and took another approach. He struggled. Midway through he was in absolute terror as he tried to negotiate a particularly challenging part. I was in a position where he was so high up, I couldn't spot him. I was anxious, striving not to be, and encouraged him to come back down. And he did, but as he did, he followed his own impulse and handled the whole thing in another way, and continued on and made it across. Afterwards he was happy and kept telling Max, "I was so scared. I was so scared." But he was happy because some how he had put his fear down, and allowed an impulse through. And that impulse guided him to an experience that, although it didn't technically involve his original concept of " winning", was what he really wanted.
Images or words or impulses, strong feelings can all be communication. You know it's the real you, when it's positive, life-affirming and feels like relief.
Love to You All.
All is Well,
Jen
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